I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.
Waylon Smithers is Mr Burns' loyal, adoring, long-time assistant. His duties include over 2000 small jobs, which all involve taking care of Mr Burns in some way. These include but are not limited to: preparing his tax return, cooking for him, chewing for him, moistening his eyeballs, lying to Congress, and some light typing. Smithers also devotes his life to protecting Mr Burns' feelings whenever he can, even if this involves lying. An example of this is when the townsfolk are booing Burns, and Smithers tells him they are saying "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!". Mr Burns, as naive as he is, doesn't believe him though.
But what about...the other thing?
It has been alluded to and implied many times over the years that Smithers is, shall we say, a fan of men. However, it has never actually been explicitly stated. But this is all a part of his mystique. I won't tell you what to believe, but based on the following information, feel free to make up your own mind...
-Smithers is the proud owner of the largest collection of Malibu Stacey dolls and merchandise in Springfield.
-His computer has a Mr Burns screen saver that says "Hello, Smithers. You are quite good at turning me on."
-He goes to what is clearly a gay resort on his vacation in "Homer the Smithers".
And, if you still remain unconvinced:
Take this quote...
Mr Burns: Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!
And this one...
Mr Burns:If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: ...If you did it, sir?
And finally...
Mr Burns: I love you, Smithers.
Smithers: The feeling is more than mutual, sir.
But what about...the other thing?
It has been alluded to and implied many times over the years that Smithers is, shall we say, a fan of men. However, it has never actually been explicitly stated. But this is all a part of his mystique. I won't tell you what to believe, but based on the following information, feel free to make up your own mind...
-Smithers is the proud owner of the largest collection of Malibu Stacey dolls and merchandise in Springfield.
-His computer has a Mr Burns screen saver that says "Hello, Smithers. You are quite good at turning me on."
-He goes to what is clearly a gay resort on his vacation in "Homer the Smithers".
And, if you still remain unconvinced:
Take this quote...
Mr Burns: Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!
And this one...
Mr Burns:If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: ...If you did it, sir?
And finally...
Mr Burns: I love you, Smithers.
Smithers: The feeling is more than mutual, sir.
